Edinburgh Diary 21st-27th August 2008

Two reasons why Ihaven't been keeping up with the daily blog.

1 - Still no internet in the flat.

2 - I would rather be partying/sleeping.

So welcome to the omnibus edition. I bring you highlights from the 21st to the 27th August. Of course, I was drunk a lot of the time and my memory is bad at the best of times, so it will be sparing, but maybe that's best. After all I'm sure you're all fucking tired of hearing how the show is going and that I'm tired.

Having said that I will tell you briefly about my first solo spot on the 22nd. I did character stand up from new stand-up, Harriet Deansway. It went so well. They were eating out of the palm of my hand*

I saw the BEST SHOW at the entire Edinburgh fringe. It's called The Nose Guy and involves a chat removing the face of Jimmy Carr from a Jimmy Carr flyer and replacing it with his nose, filling the space of the entire Carr face.

I blagged into the 'So You Think You're Funny?' party and saw Roy Walker and Johnny Vegas snogging.

Colin Murray asked me directions and I got flustered.

I went to see Matt Forde's On Heat, a panel show which had Pappy's Fun Club vs The Penny Dreadfulls. Brilliant!DOOSH!DOOSH!DOOSH!BRAP!D-D-D-D!!! I think the Penny's slammed it by calling Pappy's "S Klang Juniors". OHHH! BRAP BRAP! D-D-D-DOOSHDOOSH!

I got the phrase - "HELLO! YOU CAME!" in my head. In fact it's still in there.

We won the if.comedy spirit of the fringe award.**

Then I dreamt that I won best drama writer if.comedy award for an advert I wrote about Armando Iannucci. What.

Yesterday was post-fringe day. All the comedians had gone and I was left to convinve the landlady I couldn't give her the money my boss owed her, even if I wanted to (which I certainly didn't)
The lovely Emily, Paddy, Paddy's cousin Adam and myself spent the day watching films. It started with the unbeatable Jumanji. That was probably a mistake, starting with an unbeatable film...
"Are you ready?"
"There is no ready"
Other gems from the day included -
1. i cannae do it cos i dinnae wanna.
2. this is the first day of my 13th birthday.
3. make it famous.
4. is there a pre-past?

I'm sure there were other things that happened over the last week that may interest you, but I'm darned if I can remember them. any questions? Leave below!

This will probably be my last Edinburgh blog, as I'm going home tomorrow and today I do not intend to leave the house apart from to smoke, or maybe to buy snacks.

Oh! If you haven't already you must watch The People Who Live Under the Stairs.

Thank you.
Farewell.

Sophie x

*Advice - always take snacks to feed your audience. Trill works well.
**Along with everyone else.

Edinburgh Diary 18th-20th August 2008

Our modem is on the naughty step. It isn't flashing its send and receive buttons. Naughty thing. So I'm writing this from a friend's house. What has happened these last two days? My friend Craig came up and we went out with him and his girlfriend. They enjoyed the show apparently, which is good because I think Craig was pretty much expecting it to be awful. So that's nice.
We were flyered by some hip-hop meets Shakespeare play musical type thing. I scoffed and said no until the chap offered up free tickets. Being a freeloader I changed my mind and myself Craig and Cara went in to see the show while Scott went to flyer. The first ten minutes of the show, I sat there cursing myself for saying yes, hip hop plus shakespeare? Oh dear. But I soon got pulled into the show, enjoying the cheesy rap battles and rubbish shakespeare/hip-hop hybrid puns.

Today the show went well, the audience were laughing loud and I had the best time I've had doing the show yet. What a lot of fun. I've sorted an open spot on Friday at the Krazy Horses show at the White Horse, so come along if you're in Edinburgh.

Now, I'm cold and wet. The weather this year has been the worst I've seen it.

Grumble grumble.

Sophie x

Edinburgh Festival Diary 17th August 2008

Today the show went much better. Back on track. Unfortunately the show after us screwed stuff up for us a bit. They let people in way too early and threw Paddy off when he was doing a costume change and then came in to convince people to stay for their show before they had a chance to pass the collection bucket. Bastards. I know they didn't mean to but still, bastards. So only about 5 people passed me, but luckily one person put a tenner in so we weren't too short.

It's been a bit of a non-day. I'm still recovering from the other night really.

Here's a photo of me looking bag-eyed and annoyed -


Sophie x

Edinburgh Festival Diary 16th August 2008

This must be my earliest night of the festival. It's half one and I'm tucked up in bed with my laptop.
It's been a really lovely day, though it started off terribly. I had a great night last night and got to bed around 6am, hence the oh-so-brief blog yesterday. I went to the Space venues party which was a rather strange affair. It started off quite mild, people milling around drinking, then we ventured into a near-empty room where music was playing and a few people were dancing. But the drinks were so cheap and people so generous that it wasn't long before everyone was fantastically pissed. Let me tell you, chicken fighting on a guy's shoulders is scary enough, but when that guy is 6'6" tall and he's not holding your legs and you're both drunk.... Good grief. I thought I might die. But I wouldn't have minded. The general atmosphere was that of a wedding reception, or maybe a youth club disco. Cheesy music and ridiculous dancing. I was in my element.
Paddy and Rob arrived later on after I had promised Paddy that there were indeed beautiful women there, something he always needs before he will attend a social event. It's interesting to note that he never approaches any of said beautiful women, so... what's the point eh?

I went to go and see the show that the American chaps I'd met were involved in. It was fantastically written and performed. The Scotsman gave them a shining review which was thoroughly deserved.

Before that though was the arduous task of waking up. Why do we have to have our show so early? It makes going to bed at 6am seem like a bad idea. The show was a bit weird today. We performed pretty well, and nothing went wrong. But the audience just weren't on our side. My intentionally bad stand-up parody seemed to go over people's heads as did all of the jokes. The only laughs seemed to come when we said rude words. I have said in the past that a pet hate of mine is when a comedian blames their audience, but I think that's mainly doing it to their face. Doing it in a blog after the event, but carrying on like a true pro is much better behaviour. Hopefully it'll go back to how well it was going before.

What else? That's about it really. I've had lots of magazines to hand out.
Ninny night

Sophie x

Edinburgh Festival Diary 15th August 2008

Hello.
What happened? Yeh, it was our day off so I slept in. Nice.
Then I did stuff. Erm.
Then later I went out. Saw Freeze. Amazing.
Then er... Wine. Danced like a fool at venue 45 which was a church or something. It was like a wedding reception and there were some American actors.
Now I sleep.
Bye.
Sophie x

Edinburgh Festival Diary 14th August 2008

Today was good. It's our only official day off tomorrow, so the only really chance to stay up late and do as I please. Screw tomorrow morning, it won't exist.

The show went well as ever. We're definitely going to win the if.comedy award. I know a show has to be an hour long and ours is only 40 minutes, but I think they'll probably make an exception for us.

I went to go and see Armando Iannucci's Charm Offensive being recorded, which was really good. Armando's the cutest overjewish elderly gnome who ever graced the world of comedy. Not to mention a fucking genius.

Later on Scott and I went to see Richard Herring's show The Headmaster's Son. He's really such a great stand-up and every year I think that he has reached his zenith and that surely next year's show can't be better. I especially thought that with last year's show, but he has delivered yet again. As well as making me roar with laughter, the bastard also made me weep tears. Yeh, proper tears. He goes into the hall of fame of only three shows that have made me cry in Edinburgh. One a choir concert which was actually not that good, but I was having a nervous breakdown at the time, and the only other show was Daniel Kitson's It's the Fireworks talking. Both moments are of love for a father I suppose. Good one. I love my Dad too, Rich.

So there, a tender moment within a nonsense blog.

I went to Spank again last night, but this time I was in the right mood. I had pinot running through my veins and obnoxious comments belching from my throat. A good night was had. Though I think I annoyed my friend Chris. At the end of the interval I had got distracted as I bumped into some friends and decided not to go back in as I'd seen the acts I'd wanted to see. Sorry Chris, I was drunk and selfish.
Oh and here's a fab comedy tip for you - Moonfish rhumba. They're a new comedy sketch duo type thing and they are absolutely, stunningly, mindblowingly, shit. I couldn't spot one joke in their whole set, not even a shit pun or knob gag. What?

Time for byes.

Sophie x

Edinburgh Festival Diary 7th - 13th August 2008

Does this still count as a daily diary? Okay, I'm cheating a little, but I've missed so many now that writing them all and posting at once seems such a chore. So I'll just start again here. I'm a failure okay? But wouldn't you rather I fail at this and succeed in having fun and a good show in Edinburgh? No? Selfish bastards.

I've been inundated with 2 messages asking where the blog has gone, so thanks to both of you. I'm back, and this time it's spellchecked/dangerous.

So, since last many things have happened. My friend Dan came up for 4 days (which is the main reason I haven't been blogging. Staying up late drinking wine, talking nonsense and watching comedy/doctor who is a much more enjoyable way to spend the early hours) He came to see the show and then helped us out in a rigorous and vigorous rewriting session. We've now dropped two sketches that weren't going so well and put another two in.
-------------------------------
Now it is the early hours after the day of the 13th, so I must amend the title of this blog as it previously read - "Edinburgh Festival Diary 7th - 12th August 2008". It's 3.49am and I've just got back from Spank! What an interesting evening! It began, dear friends, with erm... I can't remember. Chris Martin was on and he was fab, but then it all got a bit weird cabaret the carnivalesque style. Things started to get weird when Drags Aloud came on. They were fun, but I don't think the crowd were really into it. They were essentially a bunch of transvestites dressed in rubbish Grease outfits dancing badly to a cheesy music medley. Hmm. Then an interval in which the already rowdy audience on one side preceeded to either get rowdier or, in the case of one girl, fall asleep on the table. I'm far too sleepy to go into detail, but the idiot hecklers (one in particular doing an obnoxious fake laugh) got more and more rowdy and impatient and the evening ended with Paul Foot being a total hero and thrusting his pelvis right in their face in an example of his monumental art 'Mime plus'.

What else has happened on the inbetween days? I cannot remember much. But today we had a good show, some chap put a whole £10 in the bucket which was quite astonishing. I'm really pleased with how it's progressing and people have said some lovely things. Basically I'm having a lot of fun.

Oh! I know what else. The new issue of the fanzine I'm working for is out and I am credited at the back as follows -

SOPHIE
http://www.pswaah.blogspot.com
Is weak minded and has low self esteem the perfect psychological make up for bullying her to work for free and carry heavy stuff.

Time for bed.

Sophie x

Edinburgh Festival Diary 6th August 2008

Women in Comedy and Catchphrases

Again, you’re going to get this late due to the internet not arriving yet. Jeez, I mean come along... I’m tempted to knock on the other flat’s doors tomorrow and threaten to stab them with a knife if they don’t give me their network key. Wireless, wireless everywhere, but not a drop to drink*

Today has been a bit of a non-entity as I have been in bed ill all day. Rubbish eh? I cancelled the show. My public! My poor public! I’ve spent the whole day sleeping, my eyes weeping (not tears, just, you now, like when you’re ill). So nothing has happened today.

So I’ll tell a tale from yesterday. I met up with Harry and his friend Miriam at the Pleasance Courtyard. Within seconds a flyerer arrived, as expected. He was trying to get people to see Sarah McMillian and was being very patronising about how glad he was to see a woman doing so well. I know what he meant, but the whole thing of there being no room for women in stand up is bollocks these days. There are loads of them – they’re just not quite as good as men. They’re good, but just they’ll never be quite as good as men. It’s a bit like sport in that way. Some women can outrun men, some men can outrun women, but the fastest runners always have been (and probably always will be) men.

Anyway, Miriam is a stand up, and I’m having a go at this comedy lark, so when he was saying this shtick, Harry was saying “Well women just aren’t funny”, and we were agreeing, attempting to tell jokes and just floundering in silence before flushing, blushing and blustering.

Women, know your limits (etc.)

See, will a Catherine Tate catchphrase ever have the longevity of Women know your limits? Perhaps. I was chatting with Scott and Paddy and we were talking about starting a riot group against catchphrases... or RGAC** This would entail us following a comedian with an annoying catchphrase everywhere and repeating it over and over while perhaps mauling them or kicking them in the face. Are you bothered now?

A CHILLY MUNDO!

Which reminds me... Scott bought a DVD a while back which is truly, truly shite. It’s a comedy show which is sketches, some pre-recorded and some in front of a live audience. And it’s pretty catchphrase heavy. One is Rhys Thomas (Toby from Nathan Barley) being a flirty old man. The sketch is on several times and every time it’s the same. He picks a girl from the audience and tries to seduce her in this character who is basically a posh pervert who enjoys using shit euphemisms. When the girls deny him access to their “currant bun” or whatever, he turns direct to camera three and says “OH BLOW!” Scott’s ultimate aim at the Edinburgh festival, keeping in mind the aims of RGAC** is to discover Rhys Thomas being fellated by Lucy Montgomery (his wife and star of Tittybangbang) and shout in his coke-covered face “OH BLOW!” At which point I will jump in and shout at Lucy Montgomery “DON’T LOOK AT ME, I’M SHY!!”

I hope there are no catchphrases in our show. Though even if there aren’t, people will create them, as with Pappy’s Fun Club...

“An apple?!”

Time for bed and a big old nose blow.

Sophie x

*If you can think of a better nerd way to finish this, please let me know.
**Again, better suggestions for an acronym welcomed, I’m ill and not feeling all that creative.

Edinburgh Festival Diary 5th August 2008

I am writing this as midnight. However, it will not be put online tonight because I am sans internet. We had a bit of a bust up with our landlord, involve him leaving horrible answerphone messages threatening to chuck us out. So don’t judge a book by its friendly Hugh Laurie shaped cover.

So, we are now in a new flat. It’s actually much nicer though it is slightly smaller. And we have no hot water or internet. But we are assured by the landlady (who doesn’t look like any particular celebrities I’m afraid) that this will all be rectified tomorrow.

Apart from that today was a bit mad. Because of my ill state I’m constantly tired and wanting to lie down but having to trudge along (what a soldier, eh?) I really want to go to bed too, but I am writing this for you....(who?)

Yeh, so that’s what happened on the day that never happened, the landed was a proper dick and we all had a big lovely argument. The only trouble with the new flat (apart from no internet or hot water) is that the tenancy runs out on the 26^th and my train ticket home is for the 28^th. Luckily my housemate from Uni, Paddy, lives here so he’s going to let me stay then.

Our show was a bit rubbish today, we were all out of sorts and not particularly on form. And the mics didn’t work. But after I went to see The Murder Monologues, a play by John Foster and Sheila West who I know from Uni. It was really great and they should be chuffed.

Time for bed now.

Night night blogland,

Sophie x

Edinburgh Festival Diary 4th August 2008

"The talk of the festival!" - Chris Coltrane, The After School Club.

Yeh! Well. This is the full thing (as left in a comment on my blog here)

"7 people for midday on the first day is an outstanding achievement. I'm not at the festival (not for a few weeks, anyway), but I've heard of dozens of shows that were cancelled on the first day because of a lack of audience. So for you to get that many people is a really positive sign for the future.
If you keep working hard and doing your best, your show will be the talk of the festival!"

Well, we had a full house yesterday, then today it was back down, I think about 11?

Anyway, today I was out of sorts. Although the show seemed to go well, I wasn't really enjoying it for the first time. Mainly because I wasn't feeling well. I thought I was just tired, but when I got home to have lunch I was pretty light headed. I lay down and realised that if I got up I was going to be sick. So I was. Now I'm just all stuffed up with mucus and a sore throat and I think this is perfect for performance. Yes. Lots of lockets for me.

For this reason I'm going to go to bed early, even though I slept a little this afternoon.

G'night all.

Sophie x

P.S. Fuck I'm tired.

Edinburgh Festival Diary 3rd August 2008

Hi there. Yes. Well one particular reader will be pleased to hear* I am drunk again. Slurps wine. But what of today? Well today we had the room pretty much full. Hooray for that! We made £26 in the collection bucket, which compared to the £3 to £8 of previous days was great. I could eat today! Yeh! Apparently yesterday on the day that didn't happen, there was a reviewer from three weeks in, but I've yet to see anything come of that, so maybe it's true, maybe it's not, too many commas, take note, Brissen,den. Yes, so today was good. A few of those in the audience were friends/tutors from Uni. Yes, my tutor sat in the front row and filmed the whole thing on his camcorder. Intimidating much? Nah, not really. He's a total gem, more friend than tutor really. Luckily everyone said they enjoyed the show. I hope they actually did too.
My solo bit even received a nice round of applause, so that was nice.

Then what? Erm. Handed out some magazines, had some tea, went to see, erm.... Dave Bloustein, an Australian stand-up also playing our venue. Nice guy, likable and all that, but he does my pet hate of comedians which is to assume that if people don't laugh at a joke that you think is a bit clever it's because they don't get it. Actually it just wasn't funny okay? We're not 'the little people' or anything.

So yes, after that more handing out of magazines and meeting welsh people. I went out with a friend afterwards witha fantastic budget of £0. After the population of Brookes Bar failed to take out "buy me a drink" hints, we decided to head back home. So that's where I am. And my box of wine welcomed me with open arms.

So yes, let's keep the blogs short. Interesting moment of the day - stopping Simon Munnery in the street to apologise on behalf of a friend of a friend who totally ruined his show. He hugged me and said not to worry and tried to blame it on himself.

G'bye.

Sophie x

*read

Edinburgh Festival Diary 2nd August 2008

This day never happened.

Edinburgh Festival Diary 1st August 2008

The first of the blogs that I would really rather not write, but I've committed myself to this blog a day thing. The reason I'd rather not be doing this is that I'm drunk. Proper drunk. Where I've rewritten many of the sentences so far due to total nonsense. I'm concentrating so hard. For you. So fucking appreciate it.

Right. Erm. The show improved today. So good. As long as it keeps improving I'll be happy. A few friend came to see the show including a good friend Helen who came up just to see us. She enjoyed it a lot. Good. She thinks the chaps need to speak up and that we could all do with slowing down a little. Good advice. Er, what else. Fuck I'm pissed. Went to see Simon Munnery who was good but put off by a certain chap. Hey ho. Then I took my friends to see Paul Kerensa's show, which was a lot of fun. Then, er, I bumped into Patrick Monahan who got us in his show. He is such a great crowd pleaser, he should be on TV in a barrymore type situation. Everyone lapped him up. Then... er, met up with a mate for a drink, then went to see a show called "Shaggers", yes, shaggers. It's basically they invite stand ups to come along and they talk about nothing but sex. It was hit and miss. Some people had good crowd banter, some people had good jokes, others were just crude for crude's sake. I'm not easily offended, but if you 'do comedy' without making any jokes, just describing shit porn films, then I might take offence. Don't insult our intelligence. Despite the potential spelling mistakes in this blog. After that I went home and arrived here. It's now almost 3am. Shit. Erm.

G'night. Sorry for shit blog.

Sophie x