Edinburgh Festival Diary 6th August 2008
Again, you’re going to get this late due to the internet not arriving yet. Jeez, I mean come along... I’m tempted to knock on the other flat’s doors tomorrow and threaten to stab them with a knife if they don’t give me their network key. Wireless, wireless everywhere, but not a drop to drink*
Today has been a bit of a non-entity as I have been in bed ill all day. Rubbish eh? I cancelled the show. My public! My poor public! I’ve spent the whole day sleeping, my eyes weeping (not tears, just, you now, like when you’re ill). So nothing has happened today.
So I’ll tell a tale from yesterday. I met up with Harry and his friend Miriam at the Pleasance Courtyard. Within seconds a flyerer arrived, as expected. He was trying to get people to see Sarah McMillian and was being very patronising about how glad he was to see a woman doing so well. I know what he meant, but the whole thing of there being no room for women in stand up is bollocks these days. There are loads of them – they’re just not quite as good as men. They’re good, but just they’ll never be quite as good as men. It’s a bit like sport in that way. Some women can outrun men, some men can outrun women, but the fastest runners always have been (and probably always will be) men.
Anyway, Miriam is a stand up, and I’m having a go at this comedy lark, so when he was saying this shtick, Harry was saying “Well women just aren’t funny”, and we were agreeing, attempting to tell jokes and just floundering in silence before flushing, blushing and blustering.
Women, know your limits (etc.)
See, will a Catherine Tate catchphrase ever have the longevity of Women know your limits? Perhaps. I was chatting with Scott and Paddy and we were talking about starting a riot group against catchphrases... or RGAC** This would entail us following a comedian with an annoying catchphrase everywhere and repeating it over and over while perhaps mauling them or kicking them in the face. Are you bothered now?
A CHILLY MUNDO!
Which reminds me... Scott bought a DVD a while back which is truly, truly shite. It’s a comedy show which is sketches, some pre-recorded and some in front of a live audience. And it’s pretty catchphrase heavy. One is Rhys Thomas (Toby from Nathan Barley) being a flirty old man. The sketch is on several times and every time it’s the same. He picks a girl from the audience and tries to seduce her in this character who is basically a posh pervert who enjoys using shit euphemisms. When the girls deny him access to their “currant bun” or whatever, he turns direct to camera three and says “OH BLOW!” Scott’s ultimate aim at the Edinburgh festival, keeping in mind the aims of RGAC** is to discover Rhys Thomas being fellated by Lucy Montgomery (his wife and star of Tittybangbang) and shout in his coke-covered face “OH BLOW!” At which point I will jump in and shout at Lucy Montgomery “DON’T LOOK AT ME, I’M SHY!!”
I hope there are no catchphrases in our show. Though even if there aren’t, people will create them, as with Pappy’s Fun Club...
Time for bed and a big old nose blow.
*If you can think of a better nerd way to finish this, please let me know.
**Again, better suggestions for an acronym welcomed, I’m ill and not feeling all that creative.