Wednesday, November 22, 2006


Ok, I don't really know what to say about this, because I'm still taking it all in. I blame my course for this following statement - but the first thing I thought is wow - it doesn't take long for them to get this stuff on you tube - then do a SPOOF. I'll give you three clips, the incident, the apology - and then the spoof.

and the apology.....

and a spoof....

Click here for the SPOOF!(turns out they disabled embedding - bastards! Don't they know there's a war on?)

here's another one a friend just informed me of. oh it's pure art...

I just feel weak. I hate it all. Ergh.

Sophie x

Monday, November 20, 2006

Speaking of sick...

While Paddy and I were on the train to Southampton, we were flicking through the latest Time Out. In there is an article about Martin Creed and his latest 'art' exhibition. It's a film of people being sick on a clean white set. Here's a clip I found:

I don't know about you but this smacks of bollocks and pretentious shit, where the only aim here is to shock. In the interview Mr 'Creed' said something about it showing peoples' feelings, literally "bringing them up" (nice).
And this sounds familiar to me. Any Chris Morris/Nathan Barley fans will remember 15Peter20.
So repeat after me...


Here's the Nathan Barley clip for comparison.
I'm just putting the thought out there....

And now I'm vulnerable...

Sophie x

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Southampton makes me sick

I walked home from work today. It takes about 35 minutes and saves me the bus fare. Woo. You see my bank balance has led me to a healthier(ish) lifestyle. I've already lost a little bit of weight due to not eating much (That's why the 'ish' is there, I realise this isn't all that healthy). And I can't afford any cigarettes or tobacco. I just had my first one of the day which a friend offered me. It's almost 7pm. Check that out. And I was walking for an hour and 10 minutes. I think I'm going to walk to work forever. Not forever, I mean, for this job. Who knows how long I may have to commute in the future, and I don't fancy the walk from Tunbridge Wells to London every day. And then back again. I'm all for a bit of walking, but fuck out*, that's ridiculous.
Anyway, while I was walking home, I was listening to barber's adagio for strings, cos I'm a cultured bastard sometimes. Anyway, I was listening to it on repeat, and was getting into it when some twatty kid on a bike whizzed past me and ruined the moment. I nearly swore at him. Then a few thoughts went through my mind...If I HAD sworn at him, who would be in the wrong? Who would be the greater evil? Would it be the kid for being irresponsible and putting me in danger, or would it be me for chastising him for basically, not realising I was listening to such a moving piece of music and that I was feeling vulnerable, and didn't want a little wanksplat putting me off the music... the danger didn't cross my mind til I started writing this.

Right...OWN UP - Who tried to use my paypal account? I shall kill y'all. Luckily paypal is clever enough to notice a different IP address. Clever paypal.

Soo. What since last? I went to scruff - oh JOY! It was such a great night. Got drunk off the uni - I should really censor myself but meh, if the Uni offers free wine at a function which was frankly a waste of my time and effort (and shame- I do many things more worthy of shame), then I'm gonna take advantage of it. So after the Scholar's reception I trotted off to Mr Scruff, merry as a gnome.

Then on Fritag, Paddy and I went to Totton, yes you heard me TOTTON! ROCK 'N' ROLL!!! In case you don't know it's just outside Southampton. We went to the Hanger Farm Arts Centre for a comedy gig. A strange venue in the middle of nowhere. It's quite a nice place, though it took a while for the crowd to warm up. My favourite moment which seemed to bypass everyone else's 'normal' mind, was when one comic was asking what the local paper was. A few names were mentioned, but 'echo' was said a few times. I sat there giggling to myself repeating the word in an 'Airplane' stlyee, "echo, echo......echo...". It was glorious to me. No one else seemed to notice. Bastards.

Ok, so here I saved this post as a draft because I got distracted by Paddy turning up. It's now the next day and I've forgotten all the hilarious things I was going to say. They were side-splittingly, pant-shittingly funny though, take my word for it.

The comedy night continued well, the highlight was headline act Mr Richard Herring, and Josie Long was great too, though it took a while for the audience to warm to her. I ended up getting rather horrendously drunk. For free again. Well, from the kindness of Paddy and a generous comedian.

Then Bookshop work, now monday.

What do you mean I need to work on my conclusions? Who's with me on banishing conclusions in essays? JOIN THE REVOLUTION, in the next essay due, everyone join me in writing...

"In conclusion, see above and summarise"

So now, to the library. After a lovely long shower to wash away last night's disgust.

Sophie x

*Fuck out - new phrase coined by ME, copyright 2006.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Shall I pull an all-nighter?

I have to get up early tomorrow because I thought it would be a great idea to schedule a meeting at 9 at my house. Everyone must think I'm like Hitler. I've even got similar facial hair. It's just cleverly bleached. Which makes me think...Hitler was all for the Aryan race, right? But they're blonde. He wasn't. If he was his tash would be as subtle as mine and women worldwide. We all have hitler tashes you see. Midwives put bleach ducts in the roots after birth. You ask any midwife, they'll tell you it's true.

Anyway I've been up late doing a combination of work and procrastination. I copied my man and made a myspace page for my cat See her, aww!
That was the height of the procrastination. And it gives me the potential for more future procrastination 'pimping' up her space. I just thought it would be much better if I pretended she'd done it herself. But I know you're not dumb, and I've typed all that now, there's no going back now.

This is me on my 20th birthday (Click the picture to make it bigger and see what's going on...) I got this photo from a friend recently. If I remember correctly, I was making a speech, and I hope I was pretending that was a microphone. Anyway, as you can see, I'm the shy and retiring type, I don't really want to talk about it.

So back to the key question here...shall I pull an all nighter? I think the obvious answer is no.

Good night.

Sophie x

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Tommy, can you hear me?

I'm starting to worry, more and more people know about my blog. Soon I'm going to have start lying to cover up the myriad of excuses I use and lies I tell on a day to day basis.

Everyone loves the Who, and rightly so. Tommy can you hear me? I've been using psychosematic...erm. (?) ...ways to keep warm recently. I have a fireplace as a screensaver and it's amazing, I feel warmer. Let's hope it doesn't turn into a case of 'The Computer Screen That Cried Wolf', and that my laptop will be on fire, and i'll just assume it's my brain, that it's not REALLY, that hot. And the fact that the fire is spreading is just because my eyes are tired and things are blurring.
I almost wrote psychosemetic earlier....Is that someone fantastically pro-judaism? I cannot tell.
I was trying to look up what the prefix psycho- actually means. I found this rather extensive list of prefixes:
Check that shit out!

Internet suffix of the day - .my

Prizes to the first guesser of the location. Those prizes being sexual favours and/or violence.

New addition to Dictionary corner...
-malapropos (adj)

Right, this is getting too bookish and geeky, so I'm off to inject some hard drugs into my veins and whore myself out for a bit.

Which reminds me, it was 11/11/11 today. The year is a lie, but I enjoyed doing it, if I wasn't so restrained I'd still be doing it. Thank goodness for rules, by jove.
At waterkars/ottarstones the minute's silence wasn't observed. I didn't notice it go by because I was busy scanning books, obviously something more important than taking 60 seconds to remember people who live their life a little more dangerously than selling books.

A few years back, I was working in the original Ottakar's and we were being silent, and this Tunbridge Wells, twin-set-and-pearls, fresh-from-the-hairdressers, cunt, came up to me blah blahing about how she needed a copy of whatever book was sold out at the time. I tried to point out that everyone was being silent. She was so rude, I ended up just walking away.
Ah gone are the days when a minutes silence was all about giggling.

Why are there still fireworks? Discounted now I guess. We get our Easter eggs in May. I buy my advent calender on boxing day. I buy life insurance off some guy at my funeral.

Actually, fireworks. Yes. Fireworks. I was at a fireworks party. Hmm...when was it? If only I could remember remember. Anyway, along with juggling firelighters, making a bonfire out of a fence and other haha-we're-students shannanigans, we actually watched some fireworks. But I noticed, instead of the customary "Ooooooooooh" and "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh", people were saying "wwooooooooooooaaaah!" and "WAAHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!". Much more geezerish. Maybe this isn't interesting to anyone but me. Maybe it is. I think it is, so bugger you.

Sophie x

Friday, November 10, 2006

'Twas the night before Friday.

And now it's Friday. I'm still in my pyjamas because it's been that sort of day. Carol and Noel have been keeping me company. I wonder whether there names being linked to Christmas is a coincidence? I think not, they spread joy. I think combined, perhaps they are The Lord.

So what was the night before Friday? Don't say Thursday you pedantic shit. It was all set to be a quiet night in. It was 11.30 and I had brushed my teeth, washed and severly moisturised my face (it's necessary in winter - one layer isn't enough, slather the stuff on). Then, ring-a-ding-ding, I got a phone call from Paddy saying I had to go to a party. I know my duty, if there's a party that needs me, I must be there.

It was quite good, but I drank too much wine, luckily I survived. I've been told to say hello, Andrew and Chris. I hope I've got that right.

It turned in to a bit of a vom fest. The scriptwriters were resilient, and the TV kids were puking away. One in each toilet, and two were puking into bowls. It was beautiful.

Right I'm off to Essex and Paddy's for a bath. I don't have one here. Who knows what madness will ensue. Probably something to do with DVDs.

Keep it bouyant,

Sophie x

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Self promotion part I...and perhaps other musings...

Wow, what a hilarious video. Check it out. Such talented and good looking young up-and-coming comics. Tell all your friends....

Haha, oh entrails of laughter, thou dirtieth mine pantaloons!

Expressions of woe*:
"Wee wee"
"Oh crow!"
"Oh Wheeeeel!"
"Why come?"
(*Best pronounced in a Scottish accent. Think Lothian.)

BLESS ME FATHER FOR I HAVE SINNED... I am a bookshop whore.

There's not much structure to this is there?

Things to look forward to:
-Mr Scruff playing in Bournemouth 16th November.
-MEGA CHRISTMAS PARTY!My flat, Bournemouth, 15th December.
-CHRISTMAS! Worldwide, 25th December.
-Seeing my cats and being disappointed as they ignore me at first, then a couple of hours later they remember me and dribble on my face.
-Seeing my man. Yes. This coincides with the second point. I'm hoping he'll come as Father Christmas.

I got a lovely video letter from him recently. It was full of Christmas cheese. I sipped some port and enjoyed it. Hm. This blog is boring me. Well it's not, but I'm sure it's boring to you (Oh imaginary reader, you).

Would you like to know about Dictionary corner? Of course you would!
Well... in our flat we have a little ritual of finding words we didn't previously know and think are fun (etc) in the dictionary. The edition we are using is the Collins, some's red. I can't be bothered to look. Anyway, obviously I'd rather have an Oxford Edition, but they are rarely in the £1 sale at Ottakar's. This one was. Well that's how much I sold it to myself for. I think it may have been a packing error on stock room Iain's part, but hey, Ottakar's can't sue me now. JUST TRY HEANAGE, YOU BIG SELL OUT!!!!

Erm, so yes, here are the words we have so far in DICTIONARY CORNER:
----- beblubbered (adj)
----- crapulence (n)
----- Gradgrind (n)
----- mondial (adj)
----- Hogen-Mogen (adj/n)
----- epanadiplosis (n)
----- Katzenjammer (n)

So there you are. I'm not going to give you the definitions, as it will give you something else to do. Surely the only reason anyone is reading this is for procrastination. Well Dr Johnson prescribes you a little more. The other potential reason for reading this is you are stalking me. In which case, surely you can be bothered to make the effort to look these up to impress me, otherwise you're a rubbish stalker, I deserve top-class stalking! Stalk someone else. I'm an all or nothing girl. See to see what I'm up to at Uni to stalk me more. Not that I'm inviting stalkers...

If you have other great words, or would like to argue that these words are rubbish, and I'm stupid for not having known them before, or would just like to generally insult me for finding this sort of thing fun, feel free to leave a comment.

I feel I've blabbered on enough.

Yes, Mr. Man-Who-Took-That-Lecture-On-Blogging-Today-I-Can't-Remember-Your-Name-I'm-Not-Respecting-Your-Privacy, blogs are great aren't they.

Keep it crusty,

Sophie x

Friday, November 03, 2006

The Contractor

Mesothelioma Settlements
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