Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Did ye knaar?

I made an interesting discovery this evening.

Put all my moles together and they match the surface area of a small ethiopian child.

Only problem is, I now have an ethiopian child, without the money to care for him. Please give generously.

Sophie x

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

It's all gravy, old chap

Hello again.

This week I am exploring myself, delving deep into my psyche, and there are some interesting results...

This is my raw self:

I am not ashamed. I am now embracing my true self. I am letting myself make grammatical errors and am working up to using elisions and contractions such as "I'm" (I am), "Weren't" (Were not) and "Tchamaaf!" (Shut your mouth)

I feel it is necassary to get in touch my roots and go face to face with the angry abandoned nodes thereon. I have to dig deep to get to them, because they are suffocated by the dirty soil of society. Misguided by the fertiliser of my upbringing, corrupted by the slug pellets planted by my peers.
What is this meta for?

So join me on my journey to wiggerhood. It'll be phat - not overweight - and we can happy-slap our way to success.

S 2 da ophie x

p.s. The 'w' I am forming with my fingers is for advertising. I am receiving a fee from wikki-wikki-waa-waa-pedia.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Giving Up

Bryan Adams....featuring Chicane....the great philosophers urge "Don't give up". Government say..."No, you really should give up, it's bad for you and that".

Who is right? Neither are reliable sources. If you haven't figured out already, which I'm sure you have, cos you're a clever bunny, too many parenthetical comments......

If you haven't figured out already, I'm attempting to give up smoking. Though it is cool to smoke - and it IS, it just IS - I have become so cool I'm starting to grow permanent sunglasses on my face. And then I'd just look like an arse.

So no smoking. Not going smoothly.

Did anyone read the guardian? In G2, as soon as the ban ( was passed, they suddenly LOVE smoking and go on about the golden age, and how cool it is - which, as I have mentioned before, it is.

Here are The Guardian's 20 favourite things about smoking...,,1710606,00.html

So, wish me luck! And could you pass that lighter?

Sophie x

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Dear Reader...

Life is like a game of roulette. Sometimes you land in the red, sometimes in the black. Sometimes you might land in an odd number, or perhaps an even...sometimes you’ll find that you’ll expect it to land in one but it bounces up a little bit and goes into the next one. If it lands in thirteen, some people say that’s unlucky. Unless you bet on thirteen of course.Very rarely it lands in the green one. But there’s only one of those. . . Sometimes the ball pings away and falls in the carpet and you can’t find it.

At the moment, you will all be devestated to know, my ball is amongst those burrowing in the deep pile of inevitability. If my ball is next to yours, we can live in hope they they will befriend each other and will live happily ever after amongst the cigarette ash and dry skin.

But we will have no balls.

So come with me dear reader, and knock on the neighbour's door. Do not be afraid to get out there, brave the world and ask with your hand on your heart and a tear in your eye, "Can we have our balls back please?"

Sophie x
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