Monday, December 31, 2007

Nurge P'Turkin - O'Bitchery

Last year it was James Brown, this year it was Nurge P'Turkin. He bought us much joy, love and laughter. But he snuffed it. And I think we're all secretly glad, like when Bernard Manning did. Not that he was racist or fat, but he was on the verge of both. One more blackberry pie and it would be pearl harbour jokes all over the place. And just because it's cold.

So let's all cheer, loud and clear for Nurge P'Turkin. There'll be a Nurge shaped hole in our hearts in 2008.


So it's the last day of the year. Let's celebrate that. Woo. Good, that's over. I have to admit, I hate New Year. I hate New Year's Eve, I hate New Year's Day and I hate....nah, it's just those two. Sorry ye olde rhythm of three*. Oh actually I hate that at the beginning of the New Year it takes everyone a while to get used to saying 2008, Oh HAHA I put 2007, how silly of me, HAHA, what a numpty, I'm a year behind, HAHA, I must get with it, HAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAA<

The only thing I like about the new year is that you can buy a new diary. Lovely. I love stationery. Phwoar.

So let's have a little retrospective of my Christmas....

Wow I enjoyed that. Didn't you come with me? Ok, well basically the ghost of Christmas just gone/still going (he can't decide if he's past or present) showed me what happened and I said "yeh I remember that". I wasn't moved to the point of wanting to change my outlook as I haven't really given time for hindsight to grow. It's a mere bud of hindsight... maybe this metaphor only works in my head. More importantly it's not a metpahor. What is a meta for? Shut up.

Yes, so Christmas morning I awoke and found that I had failed to give birth. Only I, only Sophie (me) would have been blessed with the new Messiah in her ovaries and yet have the rudeness to miscarriage him all over the bed.

This didn't really happen, I dreamt it. I think that says a lot about me.

I didn't really dream it, I just made it up. I think that says a lot about me.

I wish I hadn't said any of that, it's disgusting. I'll leave it though. ...says a lot about me etc etc...

So what really happened?
Well I won't go into details, I'll give a few awards. Best Christmas spirit goes to my nephew who was so very very full of joy and so flippant of material goods that he opened every present with glee, disregarded it, then spent the whole day playing with a huge cardboard box.
Most "is this really happening?" part of the day is awarded to when I got home after lunch at the in-laws to find my family sat round watching a video of my Grandma, Mum and Aunties walking around wales. It was hours long.
And most ardently "We're going to have a good time" award I will give to myself after forcing my family to play trivial pursuit, not let them cheat to end quickly, so the game finally finished in the early hours of the morning.

Oh yes! Doctor Who! So was it good? It was okay. DT was gorgeous of course. Kylie, who I usually like, was annoying and we were all glad she died. Also I was quite disappointed, the Doctor wouldn't have fallen in love so quickly, Kylie or no Kylie.
And was it offensive, did Christian Voice have a point? Well kinda, but I loved it all the more for it. The fact that 'The Host' were the enemy was nothing, but the bit where they raise him up and he flies through metal and is unscathed was a little 'grit yer teeth and hope Stephen Green didn't actually watch it and just made an assumption from the fact the villains had halos which were turned into frisbee-like weapons (very much like in Eddie Izzards Popeman and Altar Boy - "Let's get them Altar Boy, with Holy Water and Jesus Discs!")

If you missed it, I believe it's being repeated on 1st Jan 2007. OH HAHAHA I MEANT 2008!!!

Am I going to try and give up smoking this year? I don't know. I've had one request, but that's not enough for me.

So, big love,

Sophie x

*Parallelism for you language fans.


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