HOW TO LIVE by Simon Munnery

I highly recommend that everyone go out and buy this book. It's full of witty one liners that make you think, make you laugh and makes you want to kiss/kill everyone.
It's available HERE for a mere £5.

What a perfect stocking filler!

Here are some of my favourite lines.

Rules for conversing
with a potential
suicide bomber
1. Be polite, but firm.
2. Resist the temptation to discuss
your own problems

A million monkeys
were given a million typewriters.
It's called the internet.

If you only ever read
one book in your life...
...I highly recommend you
keep your mouth shut

SEX.
If you want it badly
that's how you're
going to get it

Whatever it says in the Bible
the truth remains
You can read the Bible and dismiss
it as nonsense if you like;
you can dismiss it as nonsense without
reading it to save time if you prefer

My dog has no legs.
Yet still he chews bones.
How does a dig with no legs chew bones?
With a great deal of suspicion
I've noticed.

The electric guitar
- like making love -
is much improved by a little feedback,
completely ruined by too much.

Men lie.
Women wear
perfume and makeup
And lie.

Have you anything to say?
No? Then shut up.
Unless you are a woman
in which case carry on
- it's delightful.

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Even though I don't work for The Fix right now, check out this great comedy night. Simon Munnery's on the bill, with many others!


Love you all!

Sophie x